Douchebag Rant

It was recently suggested to me by a friend that I check out MTV's new reality show Jersey Shore. I managed to feign interest for the first 5 minutes or so before feeling like I was slowly slipping into another dimension. These guys and girls are truly living in another world, like the rules of normal social existence don't apply to them. I can't fathom what logic, or lack thereof, is circulating in their orange skinned, spikey haired, jager shooting heads when they leave their house in the morning. First of all, the men (if you can call them that) worship skin tanning like its the latest and greatest trend. Yet, notice how anywhere outside Jersey shore men that intentionally tan themselves are perceived to have, shall we say, a questionable sexual orientation. These are the guys you see at the club with their hair gel level on, as Kanye would say, a hundred thousand trillion. They typically have some flashy Ed-Hardy type shirt on, 2 sizes too small of course to show off those long hours at the gym. Lifting weights and throwing back shots of Jager seem to be all these clowns are good at. I can't help but think they'd have some hope if they at least spent half the time they spend in the gym on some other constructive pursuit. Hey, you ever heard of a newspaper? How about that economy huh? Oh sorry brah, I didn't mean for you to lose count on your 5th set of bicep curls. Combine this with an obnoxiously loud persona from all that yelling over gino beats in the club and you have what I would call your stereotypical Guido. I keep thinking at what point are these guys going to get a reality check? When daddy's trust fund money dries up probably. Until then, they're going to party it up the douche-bag way on Jersey Shore, a place I want to be as far away from as possible.

ORANGE SKIN IS NOT COOL SO STOP POSING

Hey look its the Ed Hardy Posse. When you lack a fashion sense of your own just wear what all your other friends are wearing.

Ed Hardy beer. This has gotta be what douche-bags drink.